XANGA!

School blocked this thing called myspace.
Fuckers.
I have to pee.
I'm in Consumer Ed...
School is so lame.
Alright.. its time for Rachel update.
I'm way ready to be out of here.
So I'm graduating early.
I'll be out December of 2006.
I'm going to graduate, get a job, and take real art classes at Rabb Road U.
Then hopefully I'll be able to go to school in the city and major in fashion design.
Ty's still at school in Chicago at DePaul.
We're still together :) I love him a lot.
Its Hailey's bday today. She's 17.
Winterguard is now fullfledge.
We have rehearsals every tuesday thursday and saturday.
It kinda sucks. But its keeping my inshape.
I'm excited for next semester because I'm taking like all electives.
No math.
No science.
Two English.
Fashion, Adv. Art, Choir, Dance.
Suh-weet.
Home life is just fine.
I love my parents.
My brothers going to switch schools and i think major in art too.
How cute huh.
3/4 of my family will be have art related majors.

Well. That sure sums stuff up.
I miss you all.
xanga still sucks.
get a deadjournal.
lameo's.

Soo..

This is another one of those "I havent written in forever" entries.
Because I haven't.
I suppose I should update this so that you xanga friends know whats going on.

Well.. 
Too bad nothing really interesting is going on.
School kinda blows.
Nothings fun, and all my teachers usually just put me to sleep.
Marching band is going just fine.
Our colorguard won best in our class at state. 
Thats two years in a row. Oh yeah!
I just hope everyone can keep their spirits up for the last haul.
This weekend is free and I'm going to Chicago.
I finally get to go see Ty at college.
I dont know how to put into words how difficult life without him.
I find myself JUST wanting to be with him.
The majority of my friends are into drugs right now.
I mean.. I suppose I dont care what people do with themselves...
But to watch them waste their bodies and minds like this hurts.
I want my vain, myspace whore, fun loving friends back. 

Well... homeroom is over in a minute. 
I'll catch you guys later. <3 

This is the first xanga entry I've written in forever. Yeah. Forever.
So the school years almost over.
Wierd stuff.
I keep thinking that there are going to be more days... more times to see my friends.. more times to sit in class bored..
But there arent.
Three more finals then I'm done.
I'm wierded out by the fact that I'm losing prolly a third of my friends to college.
I'm also kinda messed up about the fact that I am so content with Ty and am going to have to end up breaking up with him in three months.
I know you guys are all "dood, Rachel.. way to ditch us for a boy. Atleast its not the first time.."
And I know I owe you that apology.
(I'm sorry)
But I just wish I could show you all how.. much Ty has impacted and changed me and made me grow up.
And!!
I wish I could prove to you that I'm not the same without you guys and I miss seeing you everyday and such.
I guess thats always been my problem. That whole I crave change and cant have the same situation in my life for more than a couple months.
I mean don't get me wrong, I'm still viva la group. Actually I kinda hope this summer can rebuild us and such.
I hate that musical pushed me into my own world away from you all.
But then again I can't blame it all on that.
I know its me.
And I guess I kinda feel guilty because I love the way things are right now.
I love having a boyfriend who is ALWAYS there for me.. always willing to do things for me and take care of me. Someone who I can tell everything and make an ass of myself and not be scared. He's like.. my bestfriend and my boyfriend.
And I don't really think I can ask you to understand that.. Because I know if I were in your shoes I'd prolly be pissed too.
BUT... please know that I'm still here..
I'll be here for a while...
And I would love it if you'd call me and be like "dood, lets hang out." I'd find the time to kick it with you. I swear.
Cross my heart hope to die.

I'm thinking about applying to get into an Arts Academy for the rest of my highschool career. Mostly because I hate how everything I want to study will never be taught at West.
When I suggested it to my parents they didnt even blink before they shot it down.
Which definately freaked me out because of all people, my PARENTS, who are EXTREMELY invovled in the arts, we're so opposed.
They say that they cant afford it.
They say both of their kids cant leave in the same year.
They don't want me in a big city all alone and 16.
They don't want me in Chicago with Ty.
The only reason I found Chicago was because it was closest to home, and I could jump home any day I, or they needed.
I mean shit, if I had the option, I'd SO chose to go to New York or California.
I was trying to be realistic.
Sounds like a no though.
I didnt really thing it was that abserd of a thought.
I just want to be able to do what I love and actually enjoy doing it. Heaven forbid.
Maybe though..
Maybe I'm ready to leave at age sixteen.
Buh I dont know.
I just don't like being held back..
I dunno I'm stupid.
And this is too long.
<3